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Joke of the Day

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"Don't stand in the rain if you're stuck in a shit storm"

"Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asked if he wanted a drink. Descartes said ""I think not!"" ....and promptly disappeared."

"If you're only 18, please don't post philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"My dyslexic son came last in the school pottery contest... He wrote a poem."

"If my 6 year old tells me someone was ""mean to him"" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal."

"Alternate Title for Interstellar [Spoiler] Ghost Dad"

"Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... Unless you're in prison."

"I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort."

"If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what's outside of it? K9P"