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Joke of the Day

"Me:""The store didn't have any bread so I brought flour"" Wife:""If they didn't have butter would you buy a cow"" *sound of hooves in kitchen*"

"My girlfriend cheated on me. She damn near broke my back."

"I'm great with kids because mentally I'm on their level."

"what do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? a dictator."

"I recently read a book by Donald Trump on finance It had 9 chapter 11s."

"Have you ever met anyone that said their dog isn't friendly? Just once I want someone to display some honesty & be like ""yeah, he's vicious"""

"Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet? Life is bullshit."

"Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look! Folsom: You couldn't be!"

"Samsung Galaxy S7 slogan: Rethink what a phone can do. To be fair, they didn't disappoint."

"What's the hardest part of golf for asians? Driving"