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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between New York City and the deep south? In the deep south they at least had a show trial before letting murders walk free."

"What computer says ""hello"" A Dell"

"Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation."

"Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints"

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"How do you make a duck sing soul music? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers."

"I was gonna tell a priest joke... But it would probably rub some kids the wrong way."

"I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up."

"You go in for an interview for a Linux programming job... ...and you are asked for an example of your linux programming abilities, so you type into the terminal ""sudo apt-get JOB"""

"I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously"