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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints"

"The restaurant I work at has a lot of short girls who can't reach the higher up shelves and constantly ask for help. I guess you could say we're frequently short-staffed."

"I had sex with a prostitute in a clown costume before Stephen King wrote that horror novel. In a pro pre-It."

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it."

"If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood."

"A 40 year-old man is walking into some dark woods with an 8 year-old girl... ...the girl says, ""These woods are scary!"" The man says, ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk out all by myself!"""

"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."

"What did the first airplane engine say to the second airplane engine? ""Are we there soon?"" ""Not jet."""

"DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*"

"What did one asshole say to the other? I don't know, you haven't said anything yet"