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Joke of the Day
"I'm gonna get a neck tattoo that looks exactly like my neck."
Next Joke
"So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple."
"A blind guy once told me, ""Kid you're going to go places."" I told him, ""Dude. I'm over here."""
"People ask me, ""Matt, how do you do it?"" , ""Matt, what's your secret?"" , ""Matt, why do you make up imaginary interview questions?"""
"Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second."
"Two dyslexics walk in to a bra"
"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? ""Quack, quack."""
"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."
"What's the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? The election year."
"""I stalk people you've probably never heard of"" -hipster stalker"