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Joke of the Day
"How did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field."
Next Joke
"A great way to relieve stress from work & family is to go for a run. Don't stop running til ur in a new town w/ a new life. You're free now."
"A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together."
"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide"
"I thought about going vegetarian but I knew I could not handle a missed steak like that."
"When I text someone and they don't text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from over excitement."
"Plot twist: name your pets after passwords."
"Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit"
"I hate when my in-laws come. It's such a bitch to clean."
"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""