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Joke of the Day

"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""

"Ever hear about the optimist that was getting eaten by a lion? He managed to get out of the beast, but he looked like shit."

"What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor? Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?"

"I just asked my friend to come over and ""play husband"". He's gonna be pissed when he finds out we are putting together shelves from ikea."

"Is it just me, or does hamstring sound delicious?"

"Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends."

"A reddit mod walks into a bar [removed]"

"10yr old sons joke: Why was ""C"" afraid of all the other letters ? They are all ""Not-C's"" !"

"What did Ava Braun say to Adolf Hitler? I love you so much, my head could explode!"

"2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files."