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Joke of the Day

"Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people"

"I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself."

"Does Snoop Dog wear and apron when he cooks? Yes, for sizzles. Edit: Snoop Lion"

"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."

"Why is the number 6 always angry? Because 789"

"My stepdaughter said the Justin Bieber movie is rated R because people will faint when they see him. I stabbed her with my car keys."

"You know what I hate most about N.D.A.s?"

"You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose."

"[offensive] What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country"

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle and pepperspray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran"