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Joke of the Day

"You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose."

"The Model Her Garb was just pure Garbage, and she had a silly old Bag: she drank so much that we all went Dutch.-and of course she lost her Rag."

"before x-rays doctors had to climb inside people and draw a picture of their bones. some still do"

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class."

"LPT: Always bring a deck of cards with you when you go hiking Joke: If you get lost, play some Solitaire. Soon enough someone will be around to tell you how to play your own damn cards!"

"I'm having an out of money experience."

"Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?"

"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."

"My cat's staring at the wall again. Either she can see ghosts, or she's mulling over past social situations she wishes she'd handled better."