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Joke of the Day
"You know what I hate most about N.D.A.s?"
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"Why do blind people walk their dogs so much?"
"If a tree falls on a woman, does she make a sound? The real question you have to ask yourself, is what was that tree we doing in the kitchen."
"Male porn stars are some of the hardest workers."
"Phil Collins' ""In The Air Tonight"" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart."
"Stay through the end of Hansel & Gretel to see Nick Fury kick Jeremy Renner out of The Avengers."
"Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? He didn't have any debtperception."
"If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn."
"He and I were best friends and roommates, so sex was never on the table. It was always on the couch, the bed, and the floor. Come on, we *eat* there."
"I hate it when people don't close parentheses. (They're brackets by the way"