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Joke of the Day

"Why do elephants paint their testicles red? To hide in cherry trees. Ever seen one? No? It works. What's the loudest sound in the forest? Giraffes eating cherries."

"wife: [walks in door] so whats the big news? -the baby walked! wife: OMG where is he? -i sent him to the store for an ice cream cake"

"If my phone is so ""smart"" how come it keeps letting me drunk dial my ex"

"After a dinner party ...while taking plates to the kitchen my guest asked if the dishwasher was dirty. I said no, I believe she showered before dinner."

"What do you call someone whose body is only muscular on the right side? A male truck driver."

"How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb? Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better."

"An exhibitionist is discussing retirement with his wife. But after talking it out he decides, ""Actually, I think I'll stick it out one more year."""

"Two potatos are in an oven.. .. One potato says to the other, ""It's hot in here"" Then the other potato says, ""Oh my god, a talking potato!"""

"What is it? It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow"

"Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing I've always been a whisk taker."