86842

Joke of the Day

"Suicide Bomber They said, ""If you blow up the building, you'll get 72 virgins when you go to heaven!"" I said, ""How about I just vandalize it for 5 sluts right now?"""

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"Q: Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? A: Because he's married."

"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole.."

"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."

"Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school."

"I'm reading a book on Anti-Gravity... And it's impossible to put down."

"Did you hear the headline about midget psychic on the run from the Law? It read, ""Small Medium At Large."""

"Do you know how a frog listens to music? It uses the iPond..."

"Fidel Castro just died, Cubans can be finally happy that their country will be ruled by the young generation led by a much younger leader. His 85 year old brother!"