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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"""Is this InkJet any good?"" ""Sure we've sold it to royalty"" ""Princesses?"" ""Mate, it prints ALL the letters"""

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"Massive US blizzard advancing north. African American community complains about exclusion of black snowflakes."

"I used to go out with a girl who had a wooden leg. Everything went smoothly, then I broke it off."

"What do you call a karate expert with a father who has diarrhoea? A chop happy chappy with a crap happy pappy."

"Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air ? Because eggs were going up !"

"What do you get when you clone a cyborg? A cyclone."

"White Boards are... Remarkable."

"The first of Jay-Z's 99 problems is the obsessive compulsive disorder that requires him to know his precise number of problems at all times."