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Joke of the Day
"Pedophiles should be careful around farms Farmers are known for burying seeds."
Next Joke
"Who has two thumbs and wears a mask? Disguise!"
"HER: Are you free Friday night? ME: Let me check my colander. HER: Your... ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti."
"Imagine the most awkward thing you've ever experienced & it pales in comparison to watching me try to pass someone walking."
"what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid"
"Give a man a fish & he'll probably stick his dick in it. Teach a man to fish & he'll just keep fucking the fish you gave him. Men are weird."
"You can bet that the Street will vote for Hillary Vuitton . . . . . . they know she's in the bag !"
"Is it just my nipples or is it cold outside. They're hard as rock. EDIT: They're"
"Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and Adam Levine walk into a bar.. ..and it burns to the ground and it's finally safe to turn the radio back on."
"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."