197971

Joke of the Day

"Imagine the most awkward thing you've ever experienced & it pales in comparison to watching me try to pass someone walking."

"At first my business of selling airplanes struggled quite a bit But then it took off."

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"Q: What do you call a spooky waterway? A: The Eerie Canal."

"The heart wants what it wants, y'know? On an unrelated topic, I'm not allowed in Petco anymore."

"You know what's stupider than a cow? Two cows."

"Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'"

"Tasty Tattoo My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other. She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"Every woman wants to be swept off her feet. It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to panic."

"*gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*"