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Joke of the Day

"You can bet that the Street will vote for Hillary Vuitton . . . . . . they know she's in the bag !"

"Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus."

"For this year's vacation, my wife wanted to go to a place that she has never been to I told her to try the kitchen. -Henny Youngman"

"Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race."

"How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car? He didn't"

"My description of today's front page... BEARY FUNNY!!!! http://i.imgur.com/en5msOs.png"

"The ""impossible"" EM Drive works, space travel just became more viable. Yet Half Life 3 still unconfirmed."

"I wrote a horror story using only six words. Donald Trump won the presidential election."

"So a 400 pound lady walks into a gas station to get directions.. she walks in and says ""How do I get to 280?"" A man steps out of line and replies ""I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"""

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she kept throwing out all the Ws."