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Joke of the Day

"Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have."

"Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar... OMg!"

"""Sorry I didn't have a chance to clean up the place,"" I say as I wave dismissively at the chalk outline drawn on the living room floor."

"An eskimo sitting in a kayak was chilly. He lit a fire. Unsurprisingly the kayak sank. Moral: You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair with a cell phone? Virgin Mobile."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'golfed' ""May I have it in a sentence please?"" Sure. He golfed with a tee. ""G-O-L-F-T"""

"What do you get when you visit the dentist with a dollar? Buck-teeth!"

"Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers? Arizona"

"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."

"What is the best thing about kids? Making them!"