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Joke of the Day

"It's weird that 'coward' doesn't mean ""towards a cow"". *sips wine*"

"Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I'm ready now."

"What's a Mexican's favourite letter? C. LOL! I heard this at work today, top fucking bantz!"

"Most offensive one liner joke I know.. So I was eating this bitch out the other day and I tasted horse semen so I looked up and said, ""Ooooooh grandma that's how you died."""

"I've been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don't talk to me about dedication!"

"Women are like sand. The deeper you go, the wetter they get."

"My neighbors listen to awesome music. Whether they like it or not."

"My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't."

"What do you call a legless nun? Virgin immobile. Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke."

"""POLICE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP."" Show me a badge. *cop gets badge out* I didn't say Simon Says. ""Let's go home guys. Sorry, my fault."""