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Joke of the Day

"Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I'm ready now."

"I was watching FOX Sports, but decided to switch to the History Channel... You still get to see the US destroy Japan, but there are fewer commercials! Edit: grammar"

"I think I just figured out the name of the modern day Thieves Guild. EA"

"What's the worst question you can ask a blind date? ""So.. you seeing anyone?"""

"Recently a fellow coin maker challenged me to beat his best work. (x-post /r/3amjokes) When I punched his daughter's face, he said ""That's not what I mint."" At least his daughter was impressed."

"I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff."

"What do you call Nazis undergoing decomposition? Necrotizing Fascists."

"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"

"What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common? They both like giving nickel rides to black men!"

"A guy's dick is so small... that he has to pay his girlfriend for babysitting every time they have sex. feel free to make this joke better..."