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Joke of the Day
"[jesus noticeably walking into work 3 days late] sorry i'm late i died"
Next Joke
 
"Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge? He couldn't keep his hands off his privates"
"You know what's Obama doing right now? He's Havana good time (sorry)"
"If I don't make this right hand turn going exactly 3 mph, the entire universe will explode & everyone will die. - the lady in front of me"
"I have a useless talent."
"How does the Terminator lose weight? By counting Kylereese."
"My mum showed my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all,"" said my girlfriend. ""Alright mum,"" I said, ""that's enough of the naked ones."""
"There was a black out last night. Don't worry, we got him."
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the earth round... and laughed..."
"I came home today to find that all of my lamps had been stolen I was absolutely delighted."