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Joke of the Day

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the earth round... and laughed..."

"If I could be any arithmetic operation, I'd be subtraction. I just want to make a difference."

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?"" ""I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."""

"I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said, ""yeah man, you're free!"""

"Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye."

"What college tuition assistance system program did Simba put in place once he became the Lion King? The MUFAFSA."

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"

"I'm naming my new exercise regime 'Brexit'. It's the quickest way to lose pounds."

"I found out I've been spelling pedo wrong for years. It's actually paedo. Always handy to spellcheck a CV."