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Joke of the Day

"Did you ever see that movie about constipation? of course not, it never came out."

"I treat my body like a temple. I fill it with crap for the afterlife..."

"I'm so irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that has 'insufficient funds'."

"For everyone that works in a restaurant, or uses shredded cheese, Don't vote for trump! He wants to make America grate again!"

"Love how they call info pamphlets ""literature."" Like the opening line is gunna be, ""It was the best of HPV, it was the worst of HPV."""

"The Vatican has dispelled rumors that the Pope is resigning because he's a pedophile. They claim he just got a little behind at work."

"People keep mistaking my ""wow""s for compliments."

"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"

"Why can you not hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."

"""So, you speak German?"" ""NEIN!"""