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Joke of the Day

"Why can you not hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."

"I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch."

"I used to be a necrophiliac... until a rotten cunt split on me."

"What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece."

"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexia Association"

"What's the difference between a fox and a pig? About six drinks"

"Age and sport Men at 26 plays football, Men at 40 plays tennis, Men at 60 plays golf, have you noticed every time you get older your ball gets smaller"

"What is the black stuff between elephants' toes? Slow natives"

"You know what grinds a Germans gear? Nothing, they are too well engineered. Edit: Spelling"

"What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave? Do you mind if I Slytherin?"