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Joke of the Day

"The Vatican has dispelled rumors that the Pope is resigning because he's a pedophile. They claim he just got a little behind at work."

"Goodnight honey. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" The stork flies them in. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Wind resistance. Go to sleep."

"My father would always tell me, ""Son, someday you will go far..."" ""and I hope to God that you stay there."""

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries"

"What is a physicist's favorite cookie? Sig-fig Newtons"

"Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear? becuase his peckers on his head"

"Pedophile pulls up next to a kid and says ""Hey little boy, come in my car and I'll give you a lollie"" kid says ... ""Give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth"""

"A lady friend asked me back to her place to chat about conspiracy theories... Orwell, you know."

"I heard Matt Damon took it real hard when he heard Robin Williams died. I just hope he remembers. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..."