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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a hormone Stamp on her foot"

"Why did the snooker player go to the toilet? To pot the brown."

"The doctor said to the patient We had to remove a part of your anus Patient- will I be any different? Doctor-Just less of an asshole Edit 1- Changed rectum to anus, credit u/RigorMortis76"

"How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol? Invite two of them."

"I saw Home Alone for the first time today and now I'm thinking about anything else I've been putting off since 1990."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care."

"You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!"

"Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it."

"TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific"

"Jesus hands his iPhone to da Vinci, ""hey can you get one of me and my best buds? thanks man! HEY EVERYONE GET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE"""