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Joke of the Day

"In the summer there's only so many clothes you can take off. On that note, please send bail money."

"At first i was feeling a little grumpy, Then I was feeling happy, then a little sleepy and finally a little bashful. I am no longer welcome at my daughters school play of Snow white and the 7 dwarfs"

"Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for."

"Two nuns in a bath... The first nun asks the other ""Where's the soap?"" The other replies ""It does, doesn't it?"" Edit: Punctuation"

"whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"I cannot even tell you how huge my penis is Doctors have tried their most powerful microscopes to find it, with no success so far"

"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."

"The only food in Hell is the part of the popcorn kernel that gets stuck between your teeth. Also they have an Olive Garden."

"Today, I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself... Then, I realized it was a window."

"Will anyone on Facebook ever have the guts to let everyone else know they married their ""best friend""?"