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Joke of the Day
"Why did the snooker player go to the toilet? To pot the brown."
Next Joke
"if i was a conductor of an orchestra, i would abuse my power by making them warm up to a stirring rendition of ""ice, ice, baby."""
"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify."
"So a hydraulic jack walks into his family reunion. . . and says look at all these Pump kins!"
"How does Santa make new baby reindeer? In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in Vixen."
"What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!"
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."
"The next person who calls it an ATM Machine is getting sent to the ICU Unit."
"Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet."
"Flight Attendant: ""Would you like some headphones?"" Me: ""How did you know my name is Phones?"""