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Joke of the Day

"TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific"

"Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his ""roommate"" of 20 years."

"I think my Waffle House waitress moonlights with AT&T; because I'm getting absolutely no service."

"WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old"

"Columbus: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Well Columbus: *just yanks me out of my car and drives off in it*"

"How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000? Smells like teen spirit."

"And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars."

"What do tou get when you cross a Rooster and a Cat Sex"

"My husband and I are thinking about leaving everything to our dog. What he will do with $20.00 I don't know. But I hope he enjoys it."

"Drinking American beer is like making love in a canoe... It's fucking too close to water."