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Joke of the Day

"Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered."

"What is Chuck Norris' ""best karate move""? Pork Chop!"

"me: i dont want any kids person: *low chuckle* oh, you'll change your mind. me: *grabs them by collar* tell me more about the future, wizard"

"In Germany, we know of a joke The French military."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bea ! Bea who ? Beacause I'm worth it !"

"My Nissan uncomfortably seats 7 if any group of people wants to take an intimate road trip"

"Kids are back to school & all I do is worry about their guinea pig. Is she lonely? Bored? Silly? I should probably hold her. I need a life."

"this is the worst weather ive ever seen ""what about when the wind had sharks in it?"" that was a movie dad ""oh excuse me weather expert"""

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"My girlfriend says she's going to leave me because I have a gambling problem But I think she's bluffing."