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Joke of the Day

"Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered."

"2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, ""Do you recall your worst day last year?"" The other responds, ""Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"""

"What the difference between a feminist and a pencil? The pencil has a point"

"I once solved a Rubik's Cube by not buying it."

"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."

"Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband."

"Why do white girls like Apple? Because once go Mac you never go back."

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it's two tired."

"I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, ""Steamed Crabs"". I began to wonder: ""What made them so mad?"""

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."