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Joke of the Day

"Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband."

"How does a psychiatrist like his sausages? Freud"

"Why did the strawberry take the fig to the movies? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver? Quack quack!"

"Thinking of donating my beard to charity because there's so much food in it."

"Whenever I poke my cat in the eye and he gets squinty, I feel bad and poke him in the other eye, so I can pretend he's just really high."

"Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness"

"What do you call 7 white guys sitting on a bench? The nba"

"What's one of the worst things you can come across when surfing the web? Your keyboard"

"Doctor: where does it hurt? Me: [shows him an empty bag of Cheetos]"