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Joke of the Day

"Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband."

"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."

"I'm gonna rock and roll til 9pm and only party on weekends"

"What do you call a plane on a secret mission? In disguise."

"What do you call a nun sleep walking? A roamin' Catholic"

"I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time."

"So North Korea's Kim Jong-Un executes it's defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun. I bet he took a lot of flak for that."

"The scariest thing about the terrorists is how fast they can do the monkey bars in their training camp videos."

"If ADHD is heritable, is it therefore energenetic?"

"Knock Knock! *Who's there?* Dwayne. *Dwayne who?* DWAYNE DA BAFFTUB!! I'M DWOWNIN'!!"