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Joke of the Day

"Why do white girls like Apple? Because once go Mac you never go back."

"How did the Kentucky woman know her daughter was on her period? She tasted the blood on her son's penis."

"Can you get a tattoo on your penis? Yea, but it would be hard."

"The Indian food market My buddy asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him at the new Indian food market and I said namaste (nah... ima stay)"

"I'm doing 'Angry Yoga' tonight. It's just lying on a mat and drinking a bottle of wine as I shout at my thighs."

"Q: What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman? A: ""Come behind the pyramid and I'll make you a mummy!"""

"There's nothing more deceitful than the word ""booby trap""."

"*helping son with math problem* [hour later] JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!"

"My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"