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Joke of the Day

"7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed."

"I'm no longer interested in self-discovery; I'm more interested in self-medication."

"If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically."

"Did you know that Helen Kellet was born near Troy, Alabama? I guess that's why they called her ... yhe little deaf girl who couldn't see neither"

"What was left after Pavarotti passed away? 20"

"Board Game 10: *reading card* Mama! Name 3 rappers! GO! Me: Saran, aluminum foil, & cellophane! *beaming* 10: *laughing* OMG! Me: What?"

"What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend? Im Stoned :p"

"What do you call an Indian bloke in a submarine? Mandeep."

"if someone asks you about yourself say ""OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story"" then just wander off"

"Why would two melons in love hate their parents? Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=|......='("