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Joke of the Day
"What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend? Im Stoned :p"
Next Joke
"Q: Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns? A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."
"Did you hear about the pagan children's physician? He's the wiccapediatrician."
"Things I need now because of Twitter: 1. A cat 2. A beard 3. Printer for Avis 4. Duct tape 5. Rope 6. Gas card"
"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."
"My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'."
"I went to a placenta party the other day... the cervix was terrible."
"My friend said to me, ""I'm going to dress up as an island near the bottom of Italy"" I said ""Don't be so silly."""
"Me: Heeeeyyyyyy Judy, good morning! *scratches Judy's back, wiping off my Cheeto fingers* Judy: Hi!!! How are y..... Me: *walks away*"
"Gas is under $2 a gallon and Suge just killed a guy... Looks like the '90's are back!!"