85888

Joke of the Day

"Andy Murray's been detained by anti-corruption officials at the Davis Cup... Apparently he's been operating a racket for years."

"Banks suck ass. First they get bailed out with $700B of our money, then they're like ""You can't use Wingdings for the font on your checks."""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, it's not going to come."

"Did you hear about the HVAC technicians who got into an argument? At first it was heated, but they got some fresh air then things cooled off"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Black, bitter, and preferably fair trade"

"A Jewish boy asks his Father... A Jewish boy asks his Father, ""Dad, can i have 50 pence please? His Father replies, ""40 pence! What do you want 30 pence for?"""

"[In line at Starbucks] [Woman behind me talking] I work in an office with 50% men so- [Excitedly turn around] OMG YOU WORK WITH CENTAURS"

"When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it"

"Q. What did one tornado say to the other? A. ""Let's twist again like we did last summer...."""

"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."