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Joke of the Day

"My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky No one wants me around. Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me."

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"How does Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap."
"Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf? He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it."
"Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself? I can't even"
"I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off"
"What's the good word? Legs. Spread the word."
"If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer"
"Lawyer: The defense rests Judge: Counselor, your rebuttal? Lawyer: HAHAHA that sounded like ""you're a butthole"" Judge: LOLOLOL #Buttle"
"What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive"
"Why do you have to nuke siberia twice? The first one is just to break the ice."