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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust..."

"That moment when your crush is absent, and you wasted your time going to school."

"My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time. He got a trophy."

"A N U S B U T T M U F F ~ My reply when the optometrist asks me to read the lower lines, regardless of what I see"

"An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: ""Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"""

"The Cheesiest Joke I Know What did the cracker say to the slice of cheddar? ""Say, you're looking mighty sharp today!"" To which the cheddar replied, ""Fuck you, white boy."""

"Pot is a plant, that grows in the ground. If God didn't want it, It wouldn't be around. So all you f*ckers that don't get high, Shut the f*ck up and give it a try!"

"Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server."

"Dubstep joke Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob bubububu Bob Bob WuuuuOOOOWWWubwubwubwub edit: formatting"