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Joke of the Day

"Guy cut me off & I shouted, ""you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND."" Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive."

"I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*"

"An Ancient Roman walks into a bar.. Holds up two fingers and says ""Five glasses of wine please""."

"""bowl of chips"" 9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips."

"Why does the sun set at night? The moon scares the daylights out of it!"

"Why can't Ganondorf go on the internet? There are too many Links."

"Going down on a woman is the best. The way her thighs cover your ears so you can finally get some quiet time..."

"i went to a seafood disco once... And I pulled a mussel."

"What did the gay guy say to Pinocchio? Lie to me motherfucker."

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""