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Joke of the Day

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust..."

"264 students died in a school fire... in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside."

"it's about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work."

"One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for"

"do you know how many Viet Nam vets it takes to change a light bulb? NO...YOU DON'T KNOW...YOU WEREN'T THERE"

"I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber."

"Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ? They were Holo-costly"

"What is a Muslim womans favorite amendment? The second (right to bare arms)"

"If the women with big boobs work at hooters... where do the women with only one leg work? Ihop."

"Told by a 5 year old boy live on local radio: Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall? .....So he could see her crack...."