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Joke of the Day

"If there's one thing my English major girlfriend has taught me, It's what a colon does."

"Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan? We had two practices in 1945"

"I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like."

"Why do suicide bombers have 72 virgins? one for each chunk."

"Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT'd, so I threw it back in."

"That's a great river Dam it!"

"Remember when white people rioted when OJ was acquitted? neither do I."

"I bet rapists can get their straw in a Capri Sun on the first try."

"the elevator business is great It has its ups and downs"

"Maybe r/imgoingtohellforthis quality. 4chan ordered Dorner a delivery pizza for Dorner at the cabin, sadly the pizza was burnt when he received it. /leavesroom"