23033

Joke of the Day

"That's a great river Dam it!"

"How to know she's the one? Jerk off twice and if you still wanna jerk off, then She is."

"If Willy Wonka manufactured anything other than candy that movie would just be a dark tale of a negligent factory owner murdering children."

"How do you tell a deaf person to shut up? ""Here, hold this."""

"Whenever my teen cleans his room, I get a brand new set of dishes."

"With all those 'thoughts and prayers' on Facebook it's amazing people are *still* dying."

"Impress an Asian chick by treating her as an equal."

"Can't think of a good Halloween costume? Go as a failed abortion. You don't even have to dress up, you uncreative fuck"

"Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's...[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff"

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey team? A hockey team takes a shower after three periods."