85724

Joke of the Day

"Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too."

"Question and Answer Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements"

"One of my terrorist friends decided to bomb our only good coffee machine in all of Yemen... Pissed as hell, he said he hates french press"

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side. Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!"

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal"

"What goes: Click. ""Did I get it?"" Click. ""Did I get it?"" Stevie Wonder solving a Rubik's Cube."

"What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !"

"What's the word that starts with an ""N"" that no one wants to call a black person? Neighbor"

"[Bad joke] How does a Marine like his eggs? Semper-fried! (Bring on the booings and the beatings)"

"Did anyone else think that... Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?"