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Joke of the Day
"Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things."
Next Joke
"Return to empty house. TV turned on to UFC. Faint smell of Axe body spray. Worst fear realized. My house has polterguys."
"OK, time to put up the tree and spend the next six weeks scolding the cat for playing with the dangly remarkably-cat-toy-like ornaments."
"Can February March? No, but April May."
"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"
"Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama."
"What did one boob say to the other boob? You're my breast friend"
"What do you call a kid with no friends!? A Sandy Hook survivor!!"
"What do you call a group of ears? A heard"
"If guys think with their penises, what does a guy say to a girl after a date? Blow my mind."