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Joke of the Day

"Having my oil changed today, but I need proof it's really changed. I've been hurt by oils before & I'm not going through that again."

"Sorry I mispronounced your baby's name you made up."

"You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?"

"Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat."

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?"

"For most people, when you lose your ""khakis"" you lost your pants. When you're from Boston and lose your ""khakis"" you can't start your car."

"[image] ULTRA FUNNY MEME If assholes... If assholes could fly,this place would be an damn airport :D."

"There's a lot I don't get about women The main thing being their phone number."

"I call my wife ""Happy Meal""... She's not enough to satisfy me but she comes with a toy..."

"The cool thing about robbing a library is that you have two weeks before they notice."