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Joke of the Day

"i just dropped my phone without the case on it and i can't tell what hit the ground faster my phone or my tears"

"I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, ""Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?"" ""Same as now - in photos and mirrors,"" I replied"

"Population Control: Make birth control a psychedelic. You're welcome."

"Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down? Because he couldn't race anymore!"

"How do you stop an Albanian tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"How did Peter Parker know Mary Jane was cheating on him? He spied her man."

"Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven."

"Why can black people jump so high Because their knee grows."

"Meatballs have bread crumbs inside them. Meat plus bread means that a meatball is actually a sandwich."

"[me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?"