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Joke of the Day

"i just dropped my phone without the case on it and i can't tell what hit the ground faster my phone or my tears"

"Do you think clouds look down on us and think, that ones shaped like an idiot."

"Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*."

"What's so good about living in Switzerland? Not sure but the flag's a big plus."

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied her."

"Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly"

"[job interview] ""We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position."" It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. ""...yes."""

"What's the difference between a nigger and a pile of dog shit? A pile of dog shit eventually turns white and stops stinking."

"To the question What are you doing here?' 72% answered negative."

"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."