55920

Joke of the Day

"[me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?"

"Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state."

"Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem... The other 96% said ""que dijo?"""

"A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first? The bystander with the camera."

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie... ... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"Why are Reddit jokes so overused? I don't know, ask Dave."

"I choose what country to visit each year by the shape of the first chicken nugget I eat."

"Two condoms are walking down the street and stop outside of a gay bar. The first condom turns to the second and says, ""Do you want to go in and get sh*t-faced?"""

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."