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Joke of the Day

"They say we are created in Gods image. So does that mean he smells the toilet paper after wiping too?"

"5: ""Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants."" Me: ... 5: ... Me: ""It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."""

"Having Justin Bieber sing at your funeral so your death will be the second worst thing happening to your friends that day."

"What kind of Bee is full of milk? A BooBee."

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards."

"Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!"

"There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill."

"So I sadly discovered that username Iloveyouforever has been taken"

"Why are gay guys always butthurt? Oh yeah."

"I had an omelette with FIVE different types of mushroom this morning. It truly was a Breakfast of Champignons."