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Joke of the Day
"Want to know how to amuse a blonde for hours? Write please turn over on both sides of the paper!"
Next Joke
"I ordered popcorn before watching The Revenant. The concession worker asked if I wanted butter. ""Does a bear shit in leo's mouth?"""
"""Omg, I literally just died"" -people who literally don't know what literally means"
"Sure I named my black cat Blackie and my grey cat Grey, but you need to be a little less obvious with babies. Isn't that right, Mistake?"
"My wife asked me to pass her lip balm, instead, I gave her super glue by mistake. She's still not talking to me..."
"Why don't bears wear socks? They have bear feet"
"[meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands"
"My Grandfather has hearing aids. He got it from phone sex."
"My grandfather drowned in varnish recently. A horrible way to go, but a lovely finish."
"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"