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Joke of the Day

"I got approached on a dating website by a midget I asked her what she felt her best attribute was. She responded ""I'm really down to earth."""

"[Job interview] ""What are your strengths?"" Me: I fall in love easily. ""Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?"" Me: Those blue eyes of yours."

"Travel Agent: Hello sir! Interested in a vacation? Me: *puts cat on the phone* [20 mins later] Travel Agent: I've got you booked for Maui"

"NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled ""Airline Tragedies."" They are putting the pilot together right now."

"I hate making spelling mistakes. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined."

"Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor? He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent."

"I've got a joke about metal. Actually, no... Scrap that."

"*gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*"

"I was brought up as an only child. I enjoyed it, but it used to really piss off my sister."

"How do you make holy water? You just take normal water and boil the hell out of it."