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Joke of the Day

"I ordered popcorn before watching The Revenant. The concession worker asked if I wanted butter. ""Does a bear shit in leo's mouth?"""

"Lesbians why do lesbians go to sports authority becuase they dont like dicks"

"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."

"Photographer with really bad eyesight is the happiest because he doesn't need any lenses to see perfect bokeh."

"A byte walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. The bartender asks, ""Rough day?"". ""parity error"" replies the byte. ""Yeah, you looked a bit off..."""

"Why does santa have such a big sack? Cause he only comes once a year."

"""I'm a social activist. No seriously. I just changed my profile picture to a rainbow."" -everyone on Facebook"

"Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern."

"Did you hear about the baby with the gigantic, record-setting head? The mother called it a crowning achievement."

"Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear"