85351

Joke of the Day

"TIL Cleopatra lived closer to me than the pyramids. I live in Alexandria, so did she, and the pyramids are 200km away."

Next Joke
 
"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"
"How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? THE LIGHTBULB IS FINE. THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH IT. I MADE LIGHTBULBS WITH GOOD MANAGEMENT. LET'S MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN."
"Why is Jesus terrible in bed? Because it takes three days for him to rise again, and two thousand years to come twice."
"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"
"What do you call an Arab oil baron with Parkinson's? Sheik Shake"
"If Jesus was on a penny they would call it a JC Penny I get sad every time I look in a mirror"
"I could never be a detective. I can't even solve equations, let alone crimes."
"What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."
"[arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] ""Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?"" ME: uh oh"
Terms & Privacy